I shave my legs,
I sit down to pee.
And I can justify any
shopping spree.
Don't go to a barber,
but a beauty salon.
Can get a massage
without a hard-on.
I can balance the checkbook,
can pump my own gas.
Can talk to my friends
about the size of my ass.
My beauty's a masterpiece,
and yes, it takes long.
And at least I can admit
When I am wrong.
I don't drive in circles
at any cost.
And I don't have a problem
admitting I'm lost.
I never forget
an important date.
You just gotta deal with it.
I'm usually late.
I don't watch movies
with lots of gore.
Don't need instant replay
to remember the score.
I won't lose my hair.
I don't get jock itch.
And just 'cause I'm assertive,
Don't call me a Bitch.
Don't say to your friends,
Oh yeah, I can get her.
In your dreams, my dear,
I can do better!
Flowers are okay,
But jewelry's best.
Would you look at my face,
Not at my chest!
I don't have a problem
with Expressing my feelings.
I know when you're lying,
You look at the ceiling.
Don't call me a girl,
A babe or a chick.
I am a WOMAN,
Get it,
you prick?!